i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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