Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
