Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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