drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have post one night stand depression
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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