Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
