Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
