Sponge bath it is.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
