just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
