Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
