ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize