i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
