If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize