I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
