How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
