Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
