I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
