He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
