TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
