I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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