Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
