Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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