no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
