i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
