Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
