Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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