hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
