So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize