Sponge bath it is.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
