i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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