stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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