so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
This is my gift to your gina
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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