i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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