idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
