if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this beer tastes like vomit already
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize