I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
