Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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