when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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