I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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