At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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