is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
