just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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