drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to be your penis for a week.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
