whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
