I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would ride that face into the sunset
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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