we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
