Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize