I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
