Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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