you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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