They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this just has baby written all over it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
