so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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