Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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