I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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