Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
