Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
