sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize