Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
PANTIES FOUND
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
