are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
