He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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