Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
