He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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