im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
