Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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