Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
