i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
