I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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